Three Things That Keep Us Stuck

We all go through periods where we feel stuck but we may not know why. Here are three things that might be keeping you from moving forward.

Falling into the perfectionist trap

I always thought that being a perfectionist was a good thing until one day I found that I was completely overwhelmed by the endless list of tasks that I had created for myself. The reason I couldn’t complete anything on my list was that I was too focused on making sure that everything was “just right.” Being a perfectionist meant that I could never live up to my own self-imposed, unachievable standards. Feeling stuck, I would let things sit unfinished instead. Perfection is an exhausting illusion.

Often, we believe that we can create perfection in something where perfection does not exist. Instead of striving to do our best, we end up striving for the impossible and the unattainable. We all want to do well and succeed, however, when we bypass “good enough” in search of the perfect look, perfect life, perfect whatever, we have gone too far.

The problem with perfectionism is that it can have detrimental effects on our mental health and wellbeing. We can be very hard on ourselves and can become mired in the belief that everything we do is not good enough. Being overly self-critical is a sure-fire way to stop us in our tracks.   

If you find yourself stuck in the perfectionist trap, here are a few things you can try. First, become aware of your tendencies toward perfection and focus on setting more reasonable goals. Be realistic in your thought process and avoid all-or-nothing thinking. Try not to get bogged down in the details of a project. Instead, focus on the big picture. Last, allow yourself room to make mistakes and be human. Reward yourself for working on changing the thought processes that keep you immobile.

Keeping habits that don't serve us

We all have habits. Good and bad. And most times we don’t even think about them because, well, they’re habits. At some point in our lives, however, we probably need to ask ourselves some questions about the habits we keep. Especially if they are not serving us. The longer we put off dealing with our habits the more likely we will be blindsided later in life. 

If you think about it, our habits are a direct reflection of what is important to us. Think about people who are physically fit. They have different habits from those who are not. If you are fit, you most likely have a habit of exercising regularly and eating healthy most of the time. If your daily habits don’t include exercise and eating well, generally speaking, you will be out of shape. 

This is true for all things in life. All of our results come from our daily habits. We don’t succeed all at once and we don’t fail all at once. Our successes and our failures come over time by the small daily habits that we have developed.

However, habits that don't serve us don't need to keep us from moving forward. We can start by incorporating some small daily habits that replace the less desirable ones. Maybe it's substituting a glass of water for a soda each day. Maybe it’s hitting the gym with a friend once a week instead of working late. Replacing one small, less desirable habit with something positive can give you the boost that you need. Congratulate yourself for each achievement. By incorporating just one, new healthy habit and giving yourself credit, you will gain confidence in yourself. It may sound inconsequential, but each small habit builds on itself until it becomes a way of life. Think about what small daily steps you can take that will help you move from stuck to unstuck. 

Throwing in the towel

Albert Einstein said, “You never fail until you stop trying.” I don’t know about you, but I consider Albert to be a pretty smart guy. He was also incredibly patient. He spent decades doing research and proving theories. And he failed a lot. However, throughout all his failures, he never stopped trying and learning. Long story short, Einstein’s work revolutionized how we perceive space, time, gravity, and light.

There have been many times in my life when I found it hard to keep on trying. Goals that I have set for myself to spend more time exercising or to write more can sometimes be hard to keep. And we all fall into the trap of thinking that maybe what we have decided to do isn’t worth the time or effort required to do it. But giving up shouldn’t be our first option. When we decide to give up on something we can lose confidence in ourselves. And it makes it that much easier to give up the next time we are feeling discouraged about a goal that has become challenging. Each time we give up on our endeavors, each time we cease trying new things, each time we put an end to taking risks, we are destined to remain stuck.

When we are faced with wanting to throw in the towel, we need to remind ourselves of what is important to us. Reminding yourself why you thought something was important in the first place may be the motivation you need to move forward. It also helps to find a support group. Those people who can cheer you on and provide encouragement. For even more inspiration, find others who have done what you want to do. Make them your role model, follow in their footsteps and learn from them. By following in their achievements, we find possibilities for ourselves that we may not have seen before. We can start to believe that we too are capable of achieving our dreams.

Every one of us struggles with feeling like we are stuck. But that doesn't mean we have to stay stuck. Recognizing what holds us back and staying focused on what is important in our daily lives helps propel us forward. Don't let perfectionism, old habits, and waning desire creep in and keep you from the things you desire. Uncovering a joyful and purposeful un-stuck life is your birthright.

Photo courtesy Pixabay/photochur