What You Don't Need To Be Happier In Life

What you don't need to be happier in life

Many studies have been conducted on happiness, and they have discovered that what most people think will make them happier in life, DON'T! Like wishing to be a millionaire. Who wouldn’t want to win the lottery? But, experts say that a lot of lottery winners report becoming less happy. What about fame? Some psychologists say that the stress and anxiety associated with fame, along with not knowing who to trust, eventually leads to depression rather than happiness. Want to look like a model? Scientists say that what really makes us happy is accepting who we are. Studies have shown that the happiest and healthiest people are those whose self-esteem comes from their abilities rather than from their looks.

So what do you need to be happier in life? 

Someone to love

Did you know that Harvard has been running a happiness study for the last 80+ years? Me neither, but that has been the focus of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. In 1938, they began tracking the health of 268 Harvard sophomores. They were looking for clues to leading a happy and healthy life. After scouring the data, going through medical records, and interviewing hundreds of participants, they found that healthy relationships with friends, family and the community were the number one factor in the participant's overall happiness levels.

Robert Waldinger, director of the study, recorded his TED talk, titled “What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness,” in 2015, and it has been viewed 13 million times.

Something to do

Finding your purpose in life may not sound all that important to you. In fact, one study showed that only 25% of American adults have a clear sense of purpose. However, those with a clear sense of purpose typically have better physical health and are generally happier than those who do not. So, what does finding your purpose even mean? It means having the intention to accomplish something that is significant and meaningful to you. In other words, what kind of work brings you joy, energy, and enthusiasm just by thinking about it? What do you feel a strong desire to do? It may be something in the arts such as writing, singing, or painting but it might be something else entirely. Many times people think that it must be something extraordinary, like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro or writing a best-selling novel. And if that's your dream then go for it! But it may be that your dream is to read to children in a literacy program or serve food at a homeless shelter. It may be in the form of physical fitness or personal growth. The point is, it will be something that you look forward to with energy and passion. It is something that, when you are doing it, you lose all sense of time. It is the thing in life that you find yourself coming back to over and over again. And it is the thing that brings you balance and happiness.

Something to give back

Research has shown that giving makes us far happier than receiving. Giving back to others and the community can bolster your sense of meaning and purpose in life. And, it is directly related to our own happiness. We have all heard that giving is better than receiving. The joy of making someone happy is more powerful than you can possibly imagine. It was Jimmy Durante who said, “Make someone happy, make just one someone happy, and you will be happy, too.” We truly find great satisfaction in giving back to the world around us.

Whether we donate our time to Habitat for Humanity or our money to a cause, we will find ourselves better off because of it. In another study from Harvard Business School, people were asked about their income levels and what they spent their money on. Then, they were asked to rate their own happiness. It was discovered that regardless of income, those who spent money on others were happier than those who spent more on themselves.

True happiness does not come in the form of money, fame or physical looks. It comes from leading a fulfilling life. That starts by forming lasting relationships that we can lean on in times of trouble and share with when times are good. These connections we create sustain us. Humans need love and connection. That is how we are built. We are also fulfilled by following our passions and living out our purpose with the intent of making a difference in the lives of those around us.

We are social creatures, and we thrive when we take care of one another. We certainly wouldn’t have made it this far as a species if we had not started by sharing the simple necessities of life such as food and shelter. One of the most selfless people of all time, Mother Teresa said, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” What ripples are you creating?

Featured photo courtesy Pexels/Sebastian Voortman